“There is hope only if we stop ‘monster parents’ harming the community.”

listen to the painful and hot stories of our society today and think about solutions together in a special interview series <Hope Microphone – Do Let’s start with > The first Hope Mike visits educational sites. After the death of a teacher at Seoi Elementary School on July 18, deaths of teachers continued to occur in Gunsan, Yongin, and Daejeon. What should we do to fix our collapsing classrooms? We share honest stories from field teachers, parents, and experts. <Editor’s note>

Are the malicious complaints that have driven teachers into pain and despair a problem limited to ‘some ignorant’ parents? Teacher Kim Hyun-soo, a psychiatrist and principal of Growth School, an alternative healing school, says that this is not an individual problem, but “a very serious and urgent social illness,” and that “it has been controversial in Japan and Hong Kong for about 10 years.”

Teacher Kim Hyun-soo, who counseled and healed the difficulties faced by teenagers and interacted with various teacher groups and wrote books such as <The Secret of Children’s Suffering These Days> and <Teachers’ Wounds>, ​​recently published <Birth of Monster Parents: A Poisonous Love that Harms the Community>. I paid it.

On September 27th, I met teacher Kim Hyun-soo at Byul (Friends of Star), a growing school in Dangsan-dong, Seoul.

– The title of your newly published book is <The Birth of Monster Parents>. Considering the writing period, I think I paid attention to this issue early on.

“‘Monster parents’ is an international term used in Asian countries such as Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, and Taiwan to refer to a group of parents who think only of their children’s interests and file malicious complaints. In Korea, homeroom teacher replacement (due to parental complaints) is 4 times higher. It has been an important issue in the education sector since ~5 years ago, but I don’t think it has been brought to the forefront. On the other hand, in Japan and Hong Kong , the problem of monster parents has been pointed out as a background for class collapse and school community collapse for about 10 years. In Korea, too, last year

. This phenomenon became more noticeable this year, so we held a seminar with teachers early this year on the topic of monster parents, supplemented the content a bit, and published a book this time.” – The monster parents diagnosed it as a social disease, not a problem of individual character or character. What is the social background that gave birth to monster parents? “Monster parents, which originated in Japan and Hong Kong, were largely influenced by neoliberalism. With the commercialization and serviceization of education, consumer (student and parent) focus and meritocracy have intensified. The second is academic competition, with Japan and Hong Kong was also a society with intense academic competition. I think we are experiencing more serious problems on an ongoing basis as we have not been able to alleviate the academic competition, which is more severe than in Japan and Hong Kong. It is very difficult to raise children amid this consumerization of education and extreme academic competition . It became a difficult situation, and this eventually led to low birth rates, which led to an increase in obsession and expectations for ‘my one and only child in the world.’ Another factor is the negative impact of Asian patriarchal society. Asian countries have lower income levels and lower income levels. Compared to the level of society, men’s participation in childcare is very low, so the actual subject of so-called ‘single parenting’ has become the mother, and in Japan, the term ‘mother and child integration’ has even been coined. As the mother forms a close relationship with the child for a long time, she and the child are herself and herself. “As a result, a group of parents emerged who were obsessed with their children and who looked at the world and formed a perspective centered on their children.” Obsession with ‘my one and only child’… Children suffering from ‘success depression’ – What difficulties do children who grow up with monster parents face? “Monster parents say that the way they raise their children is child-centered and child-centered, but in reality, the child has to grow up as the parents want under the pressure and control of the parents. In the end, it is not child-centered, but self-centered. In this process, children are robbed of their freedom and individuality… They listen to what they say when they are young, but during adolescence, there is bound to be conflict with their parents. They pretend to listen to their parents, and because they are distressed, they turn to drugs or become addicted to games. There are cases where it works. There were reports that some of the perpetrators of indiscriminate crimes in Japan were children of monster parents. There was a case where a first-year high school student in Japan set fire to a house, killing and injuring many people, and the parents were the same. They were monster parents. As criminal psychologists and psychiatrists diagnosed and analyzed similar cases, there were reports that ‘the parenting style of monster parents can lead to the murder of parents,’ and it seems that this had a social impact. Monster parents wanted and Even if a child grows up as expected, they may appear to be socially successful on the outside, but in reality, they may feel very empty and depressed. Children of monster parents who suffer from ‘success depression’ are those who have achieved something but are distressed because it is not what they wanted. “They say it wasn’t much.” – Teachers who suffered because of monster parents passed away one after another, and teachers held large-scale rallies and called for a solution to the problem of violation of teaching rights. Since this is a problem you have been interested in for a long time, I think you must have had a special feeling watching this incident. “I believe that the behavior of the parents in question is an act of ‘violation of the community’ rather than an act of ‘violation of teaching rights’. It may be interpreted as ‘teaching rights’ in that it prevents teachers from demonstrating their capabilities in the community of the classroom, but the children Considering the impact on children, it must be seen as an act that goes beyond the teaching authority and infringes on the community. In order to protect a few children and meet the demands of their parents, teachers are devastated and other children are subjected to unfair experiences. In the end, what causes us to experience that ‘community does not make us happy’ is ultimately an infringement on community. That is why I chose the subtitle of this book as ‘poisonous love that harms community.’ Realizing my desires is freedom . And, we need to realize that being able to do whatever we want is not democracy. Children need to have the awareness and experience that democracy is about being together with the community, cooperating with each other, not doing what you want, but making promises and making decisions with people gathered together to help everyone. We need to be able to do that. Also, I think a very important movement right now is the parents’ movement. The parents’ movement, which advocates school management based on communalism and cooperation, will be strengthened to counter the child supremacy that destroys the community like monster parents. I hope that this will be the case. Of the three healthy entities, teachers, students, and parents, the authority of teachers and students should be strengthened, and parents in particular need to be more active in protecting their children’s healthy communities. This incident means that we need to be a part of the community. I hope this can be an opportunity to get it back.

– What else is needed to properly establish an educational community?

“If we want children to be happy at school, we must immediately stop running schools that are based on competition or that are focused on a few ultra-competitive elites that are geared toward a few good kids. I think many parents already agree. September 4th is the day to stop public education. There was a public opinion poll showing that 77% of parents evaluated teachers’ assemblies positively. (footnote 1) Smaller classes should be taught with more teachers working together to

teach based on cooperation and community spirit rather than competition and conflict. Many people will agree that we do. So how can we respond to the forces that advocate for the Ministry of Education’s bureaucracy and entrance exam-centered system? There are already many good examples. For example, in Denmark, there are

tasks that require collaboration in elementary education. They said they would make it 60%, but they said they would not decide on first place… No matter how long it takes, it is important to create a school where all children are happy, a school where the teacher and parent communities are alive, using numerous cases that are already known and studied as examples. I think this is something we must do.

And we also need to share more specific examples of the small number of monster parents who are destroying the community. Usually parents don’t know how serious it is. In Japan, Fuji TV’s ‘ Monster ‘ It is said that cases of monster parents were shared and awareness was raised as the drama ‘Parents’ recorded a viewership rating of 12%. By addressing the issue of monster parents more in cultural programs, dramas, and movies, unspoken norms are being reestablished throughout our society and culture. I hope it will be established.

Lastly, I think there should be more protection measures for teachers. It would be problematic to send a KakaoTalk message to an employee who has come home from work, but teachers receive phone calls from parents even after working hours and each teacher handles all complaints. “It’s a responsibility. I hope this incident gives teachers more authority to protect the learning community.”

– As the number of students with emotional and behavioral crises increases due to the coronavirus, teachers often face difficulties in class and are accused of child abuse in the process of responding. What solution does a teacher who has more experience healing and growing students with emotional and behavioral crises suggest?

“It has been more than 10 years since there were no special laws in place for students with emotional and behavioral crises2), and the number of such students has increased, making it difficult for teachers to teach and to have difficulties with various activities at school. In places such as the United States and the United Kingdom, it has already been 20 years. In the past , we established concepts, created laws, prepared support policies, and deployed human resources for students who were not eligible for special education but had difficulties during classes, including ADHD, but we first took interest during the Roh Moo-hyun administration . Although it was started, there has been little increase in manpower and budget for this area over the past 10 years. It was

left to the homeroom teacher and competition intensified, but no preparations were made to respond to changes as time went by. The only ones that existed were We Class and We Class. It is difficult for the center to provide school violence or general counseling services.

Even veteran teachers with 20 to 30 years of experience cannot manage the class well if there are several students with emotional and behavioral crises in the class. It varies depending on the school, but in many cases, After COVID-19, it is said that one-third of the class are students with emotional and behavioral crisis, and in this s

ituation, it is impossible even if experts are brought in. This is often left to the teacher and if a problem arises in the process, it is reported as child abuse안전놀이터. Teachers can’t help but feel resentful. In

order to raise teachers who competently take care of students with emotional behavioral crises, the system needs to be changed and it takes a lot of time. So, let’s keep it as is, but we need to provide more support for cooperating teachers and assistant teachers who help students with emotional behavioral crises. “We need to support budget and manpower. I believe that investing enough budget and resources quickly and sufficiently so that teachers feel that they are actually receiving sufficient help is the key solution to preventing various conflicts and teacher burnout.”

1) “77% of citizens approve of teachers’ rally on ‘9.4 Public Education Stop Day’” <Education Media Window>, 2023.09.14.
2) Students who have difficulty in school due to emotional and behavioral problems such as ADHD

, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, depression, and anxiety disorder . Additional information | Interview and summary: Lee Mi-kyung, team leader of Hope Institute Citizen Connection Headquarters. This article will also be posted on the Hope Institute website ( www.makehope.org ).






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